Middle School Partners With Peaceful Schools to Strengthen Connections Among Eighth Grade Students

Eighth-grade students at Skaneateles Middle School recently heard from Dani Ryan, Vice President of Peaceful Schools, who introduced them to concepts like upstander behavior as a response to mean behaviors they may witness in-person and online. This was the first of several sessions students will attend over the next few weeks, where they will dive deeper into how to prevent and respond to hurtful behavior through safe, powerful, and productive techniques.
 
One of the first things Ryan asked of the students was to stop using the word “bully” as a noun. Rather, she said that bullying describes an action that someone is doing. She asked the students to imagine if everything they said or did fell off of them as a rock, which then fell into water and created a ripple effect. The ripples would in turn influence the people around them and become larger, like waves. Ryan said it was important to keep these “ripples” and “waves” positive as opposed to negative.
 
Ryan then invited all students to participate in a competition of rock, paper, scissors. Each student stood up and tried to beat her in the game. After each round, more and more students were eliminated until only two remained, who were named co-champions. Afterwards, Ryan noted that although the students were not negative towards each other, they also were not cheering each other on.
 
“There is always something we can do for each other,” she said.
 
Ryan explained the differences between outsider, insider, and upstander behaviors. Outsider behavior can be applied to someone who isn’t directly involved with a problem but doesn’t stick up for someone who is being bullied. Insider behavior is someone who may spread information around or “like” mean comments online. Upstander behavior, Ryan said, is what everyone should strive for. Simply put, upstander behavior is standing up for yourself and others without making the problem bigger. The three techniques students will learn to do this are: reach out, speak up, and get help.
 
Students will continue to work with Ryan and others from Peaceful Schools during assemblies, small group discussions, and other activities to determine how the entire eighth grade class wants to feel at school.